And I take it back.

I knew this would happen.
Every time I commit a decision to paper (or in this case-microsoft word to blogger) I jinx it.
Luckily this time, I jinxed something that was kind of negative
In my last post I announced that I was putting off the move to LA?  Until like, January?
Well, the LawyerBF got a job, and now we're thinking as early as mid September!!!!
Exciting, no?
I'm two weeks from the Scriptapalooza quarterfinalist announcement, and slightly more from the Nichol.
So I'm going to try something..... I'm announcing right here that i will not win the California State SuperLotto tomorrow, just, you know, FYI.

Now For a Glass of Red

I feel old.  Like, every day i feel old.
I look at kids graduating from High School and I'm actually jealous of them.  This is sad.  Because kids from high school are naive, they lack in experience, and in general, they're kind of obnoxious.  But hey, they wont worry about the beginnings of wrinkles around their eyes and on their foreheads.
I'm only 24.  24 is not a time to feel old.
I also feel broke.  Because in the last month I've literally spent the cost of my car repairing it (well, almost).  I've run up my credit cards to replace my computer which totally crapped out on me.  And I'm still covering the last few hundred dollars to get my teeth all shiny and straight.
The Lawyer BF, as amazing as he is, is looking for work.  He wants to enter into this internship like arrangement with the county DA.  Of course, this is non paid. 
He at least has a job.  A job where he was promoted twice within 6 months.  Something I'm insanely jealous of because there is no way to move up at my own job.

Anyway, that's the ranting.
Bottom line, we're putting off the move for six months.  The goal now is the new year.  While I'm sad, I also know moving to a place with no employment and 3k in the hole will not work.
I'm planning to make myself a game plan for the summer.  I've also decided not to put off classes until I move, but to start them now and just commute the what?  1.5-4 hour drive depending on time of day.
God, that's a lot of time in a car.
Now, I'm off to drink away my sorrows.

I Am Now the Girlfriend of a Lawyer

Let the jokes commence!
In seriousness, my wonderful boyfriend worked his ass off and passed the California State Bar.  He's worked harder than anyone I've ever known in my life and he deserves it.
Amongst the celebration last night we discussed the future.
It was nice to reaffirm the plan.  The moving plan, the school plan, the life plan.
We could be planted down in LA as soon at June, though hopefully no later than the end of July.
All of a sudden I'm in a bit of a panic.
My car needs work, like, serious work.  I have most of my credit cards paid down, I have a few hundred dollars set aside for beginners headshots and classes. 
But financially, it just doesn't seem like enough.
So I plan on working like a fiend.  And reading everything I can get my hands on until then. 
Unfortunately, it seems like everyone I've ever walked past on the street is getting married between now and August.  It makes working weekends really difficult.
But this is a time for excitement!  And I plan on spending the day with a bottle of champagne. 

Eggs and Chocolate? Yes, Please

I once saw an interview with Katy Perry when she likened invisalign with a Sumo Wrestler sitting on ones head.
At the time I thought "Oh you drama queen, Kay Perry."  Alas, she's right.  In my life I've been run over by a car, broken bones and had an extremely painful root canal after a weekend of extreme pain.  I swear my mouth hurts more than any of those other things.
Like, ten Sumo wrestlers sitting on my head.  It's painful, but I'm taking before and after pictures. 
I binged on eggs and chocolate and those amazing starburst jelly beans for two days.
And now I feel sick.  And fat.  And depressed that I actually convinced myself that calories over the holidays don't count because everyone has them.  Well, they do.  And everyone gets fat.  And then I'm more depressed that I cant think like that all the time.
The Lawyer BF gets his bar results in less than three weeks.
Hopefully he'll land an LA based job, and we'll be relocated by the end of June.
He mentioned a potential job up east of San Luis Obispo and I laughed.  Right in his face.
You know, I'm cool with Camarillo.  Ventura I can live with, hell I can even make Santa Barbara work.  But the middle of bum-fuck-nowhere.  Not gonna happen.  This isn't even potential career driven.  It's not family and friends driven, it's all in the interest of saving my own sanity.  I will go to an Orly Taitz level of insanity that far away from the coast.  I will die inside, and then out.
And Katy Perry's the drama queen.

Committed

I committed.
I committed to fifteen hundred dollars worth of clear plastic that will change my smile, which really isn't all that bad to begin with.  I'm bouncing between ecstasy and buyers remorse. Now I'm thinking I should be committed. 
I finished a spec script for ABC's Castle.  I'm pretty proud of it.  I'm thinking of entering the ABC/Disney writers fellowship next year when I've wrapped more stuff up.  This will add bulk to my finished projects.
In the comming month I'm submitting my feature length project to The Nicholl Fellowship, The Burbank Film Festival and The Austin Film Festival.
I'm hitting up a friends play next week.  She's nervous as it's her first live performance.  She's been saying she wants to be an actress for years, and this is the first time she's ever been on stage.  I'm not really sure how that happened.... I'm also not sure how one makes it through the California Public School System without being forced into a play or two. 
I need another job.  for a while I was writing for ehow.  i finally got my articles up there where I was actually earning, and the ehow screws me and changes the terms of use.
I guess my next e-stop is craigslist.

And We're Patched.

Well, crowned. Or re-crowned.
And swollen, and heavily medicated.  And I'm suffering from one sided-droopy face.
But my dental problems are fixed.... or just beginning.
You see, I'm in the midst of a major possible commitment.
My teeth.... they're not so great.  I mean, they're white and straight and all, but a little bit spacey.  I had braces as a teen.  They fixed the problem.  But in the last couple years I've noticed some um... drifting.
Okay so the natural reaction is hey, maybe wear my retainer right?  Can't.  Thanks family dog Bodie.
My dentist made me an offer this afternoon.  In the past I've inquired about invisalign.  I was quoted 5 grand and laughed my way out of the office.  I mean, my teeth are straight, just a little not as close together as I'd like ad my car isn't even worth that.
So I guess there's a girl who's got the opposite problem with just her bottom teeth being jacked (mine is just my top teeth).  My dentist made an offer to let us spilt the cost, and discounted.
I could fix my upper spacing issue for just 1500 bucks.
Part of me wants to laugh.  I have classes to pay for, credit cards to pay off and a gas gauge that doesn't work.  I can not afford a grand and a half.  Plus there's the saver inside of me telling me how much less this is going to cost than I was originally quoted.... and the saver says to go for it.  This is the inside voice that makes me check groupon on a daily basis.
Part of me really really wants to.  Really.  Part of me looks at the money issue and wants to cry.  Maybe I'll take on a second job.  I told him I'd get back to him by the end of next week. 

Relocation: LA

The topic I often think about, but rarely actually mention out loud.
Relocation.  Moving.  Borrowing my parents truck to cart down all my crap.
A move to LA is necessary.  I tentatively brought up the subject with the Lawyer BF today.  Mostly to affirm some kind of consistency in our thinking.
The Lawyer BF becomes an official Lawyer in May.  The Lawyer BF will be looking for a job.  Without a doubt the Lawyer BF will have to move... somewhere.
He once mentioned the possibility of moving out of state.  My response?  Have fun.  I'll miss you.  Send me a cute postcard.
My comfort zone is clearly marked between the Inland Empire and San Luis Obispo, within 150 miles of the beach.  Even if I was lobotomised, I'd still put up a fight before moving outside of it.  I had a boyfriend move to San Diego once.  We broke up. 
This conversation went better.  His network (i.e. law school classmates) is solely based in LA.
My network (i.e. random HS and college acquaintances who have moved on the pursue acting as a career) is in LA.  My friends are there, a few family members are scattered around.  His Nana's there.  It's where we need to be.
And we'll be there by the end of June.
Okay, so technically, SB/ Ventura isn't that far away.  But really, it is.  I find myself looking and student film breakdowns and cringing about the drive.  How nice will it be to worry about it less?
Bring on the shitty apartment.

Busy Bee

I've been swamped lately.
I've got school and work, and the constant need to touch and poke at my first finished screenplay, even though I deemed it complete two weeks ago.
I can't get it out of my head. 
I'm working to re-build up my cash reserve.  You know, the money i had reserved for headshots and my first commercial class?  It's about two thirds gone.  Thank you new tires, insurance bills and entry fees. 
My dentist's daughter had a baby and now he can't see me until the first week of April.  I get it, you're a grandpa for the first time, and I'm not critical here, but I kind of look funky when I smile and I only need like a half hour of your time.  It's getting kind of ridiculous.  I'd go somewhere else, but they wouldn't do anything without an exam first, and then I'd need to reschedule for the actual fixing of the problem.  In the end I'd end up waiting around more.  Then there's the come down period.  last time I was swollen for like ten days....
Which means I won't have my smile until April 18th. 
That's a long time to replace a smile with a head nod to people.  Seriously.  I'm beginning to feel like I'm not me anymore.  I'm being a bitch to everyone who comments on my lack of smile at work, which, in customer service is like every twentieth person.
The next few weeks are packed.  I've got finals as well as B-day celebrations for the Lawyer BF and a close HS friend. 
I'm exhausted.  It's so much harder to wake up when it's still dark.  And running in the dark is unsafe.  This is what I told myself at 6:30 this morning.  That by getting out of bed I was basically dooming myself for a one on one meeting with some rednecks junky pickup.  If I get taken out, it will be by a piece of crap.
In fact, when I was fifteen I did have a face to face encounter with a motor vehicle, and the thing was a total junker.  And to make matters worse, I didn't even leave a dent in the thing.
With my new cable set up I get half hour previews of a bunch of different workout programs.  Friday was belly dancing.  Yesterday was ten minutes to tone, which actually lasted 24 minutes. So I can exercise without the threat of being mowed down.   Today I'm just focusing on staying upright.  I love gaining an hour, I hate losing it.
I got in Battle: Los Angeles last night.  I loved it.  I absolutely loved it.  In general I try to support everything Taylor Handley does.  He's local (as in my home town local), and I swear he's not nearly as much of a d-bag as he sometimes comes across.  The movie was everything I look for in an alien-y flick.  Catch it if you get a chance.

Producer

Happy day after Valentine’s Day Everyone!  Have you all hit the stores for discount chocolate?  That’s what I’d normally be doing, but my diet is keeping me on a bit of a tighter leash.

I’m still plugging away on my script.  Deadlines for Script PIMP, Scriptapalooza and the Early Deadline for FinalDraft are all fast approaching.

So I’m taking a bit of time to update everyone on what’s going on….

I’ve got a bit of a dental problem… it’s cosmetic, and my dentist, the best in the whole county, has a bit of a waiting list, so I won’t be in until mid March.  It’s a bit of a pain, but still nice to think I’ll be putting it off until then just from a pain point of view.  Not so much from a headshot point of view, though I’m thinking if I wanted to go ahead, the problem could be fixed with retouching.

I’m helping fund (for an associate producer credit) a documentary on the homeless problem in Sacramento.  Trevor Morgan is doing it, and I’m a huge fan of his.  I truly believe he’s going to be around, working on quality projects for a long time.  Other people contributing are Will Canon, Paul James and Jake McDorman.  It’s nice to think that while I’m not a working actor, people only a few links away are, and it’ll be cool to see my name next to theirs in the credits.

You can catch the trailer for the upcomming (and I'm so excited!) Bortherhood, written and directed by Will Canon, starring Trevor Morgan, Jon Foster and Lou Taylor Pucci.  I've been waiting for this since it was concieved as a short named Roslyn.

I'm just link crazy today, aren't I?

I’ve been working my ass off, literally, trying to lose weight.  One worthy investment?  Sketchers Shape-Ups.  Four weeks and my calves are constantly killing me, my butt is smaller, and I can even feel it in my lower back.  While I can see a difference, the scale seems a little hesitant to confirm it. 

Valentine’s was wonderful.  The Lawyer Bf took me out to dinner.  It was nice, mostly low key.  I’m not big on the V-day thing., minus the sale chocolate afterwards, that is.  But he is, so we celebrated and now I'm glad we did.

On the other hand, a close friend decided to separate from her husband, so it’s a bit of a damper.  CJ, my Bestie, is moving in with her BF of a year.  While I may have my problems with him, mostly political (he’s a super conservative – complete with homophobia and the works) I’m happy she’s happy.

Two Weeks of Panic

I have two weeks until I need to be finished with my screenplay.  Two weeks until the deadlines for two of the nine competitions/fellowships i'm submitting for.  The dates slowly roll out until the beginning of May.
I having serious anxiety attacks here.  Sometimes they're full blow panic.
I can't decide what i think anymore.
I'm so invested, so well versed in every scene, every line, that I can no longer continue to even pretend to look at it objectively. 
Sometimes I read through and I love it. I can actually picture making the semi finalists for the Nicholl Fellowship.  I can see myself at Sundance's writers lab. 
Other times, I can only picture the reader pitching it into the trash at page seven.  Then laughing and downing a bottle of wine to forget about it.  Then lighting the script on fire in the waste basket, using the last drops of wine as fuel for the fire.
I like to think of it as Waitress meets 500 Days of Summer with a dash of Juno (and oddly, no pregnancy).  But then I wonder if someone else reads it and sees.....  I dont even know.
D-wars?   But it would be worse, because D-wars knew what it was, and my script is just pretending.
I'm calculating the fees.  Between copyrighting and entry fees it's really starting to add up.
Two weeks.

Hearts and Candy

So it’s the start of a new month, in the New Year.  I feel unproductive.

Frebruary makes me feel pink.  And fluffy.  And like I actually deserve to eat all that chocolate.  This wont be good for my behind.

March 1^st makers the cut of date for multiple festivals and fellowships.  I have exactly one month (The short one, too) to get my ducks in a row, and my screenplay in tip top shape.

Here’s the thing:  I thought it was coming along well.  I really did.  But while I was in the shower yesterday I started thinking about how my complete product is nothing like the screenplay I set out to write.  And then I read the last draft of 500 Days of Summer.  It blew my mind.  Mine pales in comparison, that’s if one could even compare the two.  It was a hit, it really was.  Afterwards all I wanted to do was cry.

I’ve been working a lot.  We’re losing shifts next week, so I’m trying to get in as many as I can before that.  I’m looking at a minimum of $400 in entry fees.  So I guess its good I’m working.

Anyway, I’ve set a few goals for the month.

-Finish this draft of my screenplay.

-Register it with WGA. 

-Submit it.

-Meet with photographers and book a date for headshots.

-Commit to at least one class.

Today is the first day of SBIFF.
Magic is in the air.  I feel like I'm at my own version of hogwarts.
Except, you know, I'm stuck in detention with Umbridge aka at my day job.
It's the first week of school and something like 80% of our staff are students, which means work life is a pain in the ass.
I got three phone calls to cover today.  I comitted to one, mostly because the chick I'm covering for is amazing when in tcomes to covering my ass. 
So here I am, trapped in a little box while everone else is out having fun. 
I ran into my seventh grade teacher yesterday.  To this day he's the most influential teacher I've ever had.  He put such an empathis on the arts as a whole.  He introduced us to classical music and opera, other cultures and religions.  No instructor since has been as gifted of an educator.

On the screenplay front, I made it to the end of proofing what has turned into my second draft.  Good news, non?  Well, yes and no.  I'm done with this draft, but with it comes the realization that almost my entire third act is complete crap.  It's almost enough to make me cry.
On top of that, submission deadlines are fast approaching.  And the prices for them are fast piling up.
Lets say they average 40 a pop and I enter ten... thats 400 bucks.  The 400 bucks reserved for headshots. 
So now I have a conumdrum.  I guess it's good I ended up working today.
I'm only taking two lasses and am already starting to fold under the work load..... it's day three.  This can not be a good sign.
I dont feel like spell checking this now, as my boss is fast aproaching....
Until we meet again!

SBIFF? Yes Please!

The Santa Barbara International Film Festival starts next week.
I love SBIFF.  Aside from being in my kind of home town, it requires next to no travel, and I get free room and board from my parents!
I also love the way they do the tickets.  they sell individual packages, with only the super expensive garunteeing seats, the rest come as first come first serve seats.
The screenings are set up either at the Lobero (where most of the big-ticket films will be), the Arlington (anything that has to do with the extreeme schmoozing) and the Metro 4's four screens get taken over.
Why do I love this?  because I have connections at the Metro 4.  Which means I have a close-to-basic garauntee to get into any film I want as long as a) everyone and their grandmother doesn't buy the really expensive garunteed seats, which usually only about a quarter do, and b) i still have tickets left from my mini-pack.  I'm also thinking about investing in tickets to the writers panel.  We'll see.
I'm excited!
I have THIRTY PAGES left to proof to have my screenplay finished.  That's it!  Unfortunately, I'm out of paper, so until I get out and get more, I'm kind of stuck where I am.
Today was a good day.  I made a lot of script progress, got books for next semmester, visited my grandfather and great-grandparents at the cemetary, and spend a whole two hours with the Lawyer BF.

2011, You Just Got Here And You're Already Leaving?

This is my first post of 2011.
I want nothing more than to have great accomplishments to share.  Unfortunatly, they're few.
I will not dwell on the negative.  i'm making the choice to stay on the positive side of things.
So, I'm exactly half way through with the second draft of my first screenplay.  I busted my ass on it, and now I'm starting to finally feel a little more proud of it.  On the downside, the second half is a lot worse than the first because this is the point where I began to focus on getting it done, over the quality of scenes.
But hey, half is half, and it's a good thing.  Maybe I'll be done by the start of the next month?
I'm starting to form a new screen play in my head.  I'm pushing it back as far as I can, because i really don't think i can work on two simultaniously.  My father, The Book Connoseur cautions I should be taking notes, but the second I let one bit escape from my head, i'm sure more form and follow.  I don't even like typing about it now, as my brain is starting to whirl again.
I threw my back out two weeks ago.  At only 24, you can imagine this was quite a shock, and was accompanied by a lot of maoning and bitching on my part that was met with many an annoyed look on the parts of my family and friends.  .  I was bed bound for four days.  I read a lot, many many books, acting related and not.  I watched a lot of tv, movies. 
The Border's in Santa Barbara closed.  This is so incredibly sad to me, as it was such a great place.  The location is huge, three stories, beautiful, in a great location.  I'm sad to see it go, but rumors of an H&M in it's place make me hopefull.  Plus, I scored eight books for two bucks.  Not a bad deal, right?
I've gained Christmas and back injury weight, and now, though i actually have the money saved, finally, I want to lose it back before I take my headshots.  My sister, who, granted is a giant who weighed about 250 in May, Is down to 185 in the time since.  I need to find out her secret.
Anyways, back to the grind, eh?